Chance
by marysunshine81
Summary: After the fight is over with Bond, Diane decides to call Kurt and claim another chance, but life interferes and she ends up fearing for his life
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Chance**  
Author: MarySunshine  
Summary: after the fight was over with Bond, Diane realised...  
Rating: K+  
Warnings: -  
Fandom: The Good Wife  
Spoilers/Timeline: post Great Firewall (S2E16)  
Disclaimer: those who you know are owned by the writers of TGW, the others are mine

**Author's Note:** I'm still writing my other multi-chap, but Silver Bullet kind of left us hanging, and I couldn't take it any more, so I started to write this one as well. Tell me if if you like it, and if I should continue posting this here, or not.

* * *

**Chapter One**

Almost all offices were dark and silent at the firm that just got rid of one of its names. The third name has already been removed from the wall, although only a few hours have passed since the partner's meeting, and the leaving of the third name partner. There wasn't a single person around, except for the blonde woman, who was still at her desk, at this late hour. There was a bottle of scotch behind her on the cabinet with two empty glasses. But the owner of the other glass was nowhere to be seen, she was completely alone.

This was the day she'd been dreading of but waiting for at the same time. It's been too long since she'd last felt this piece and quiet. She couldn't even recall the last time she was so satisfied. And she knew it would only last that night, because tomorrow everything will speed up again, they'll start facing problems again, and inevitable fights will surely follow. That was the reason she stayed in the office that night, she wanted to enjoy this rare state, and the few glasses of scotch they'd consumed with her - _now only_ – partner helped her keep up her good mood.

She wasn't working, she was just sitting there, thinking about the past few months, from Bond's arrival until his fall. These may have been the hardest months of her life ever since she'd become a name partner, and she's had no one on her side. She hated being on bad terms with Will, and they've had too much of that recently. They've always had a close relationship and this was the first time that their alliance almost fell apart. They've never been this close to breaking up. She knew it just wouldn't have been the same without him. Their firm relies on his fresh ideas and daring nature just as much as on her diplomatic skills and courtroom experience. They just complement each other professionally, and on another level, he is a fun person to hang out with. They have managed to keep up this kind of close friendship between them from the beginning, flirting with each other, without ever crossing the line, well almost.

There was this one time, after a celebration, when he got drunk, because he'd previously broken up with his actual underage girlfriend. She had no choice but to accompany him home, moreover she had to help him right to his door. He kissed her goodbye, and she was caught off-guard with that move, but she was the more sober one, and of course she rejected him. They never talked about this afterwards, she wasn't even sure he remembered. He is a handsome man, and his age wouldn't be that much of a problem either, and she loves spending time with him, but the firm has always needed them to stay friends, so she never wanted more, and considering Will's taste in women, she's always been sure that he felt the same way. This was kind of an unvoiced agreement between them, which was never meant to be broken.

He's always been the one walking in and out of relationships, still trying to find his place, while she wasn't exactly looking any more. Throughout the past twenty years she's convinced herself that she was better off alone, and she rarely had the time to miss being in a relationship. Her firm and her career have always been the most important things, the essence that has kept her alive, and she rarely needed more. But on that night, when for a short while everything seemed all right on the professional level, she found herself thinking of someone she was missing.

It's been a week since she turned down his proposal, and he left for good, leaving her behind, almost without goodbye. He didn't exactly explain why he had to leave, and he didn't bother to understand why she couldn't go with him _then_. He kind of ruined their fragile relationship with the proposal, using words like now or never. She still couldn't exactly see why he had to end everything between them that way. She wasn't sure that was what he wanted, and it wasn't what she wanted either. She loved having him around, and yes, she missed him while he'd been away _here and there _without bothering to call her. He just acted like men usually do, but it still surprised her, since she'd expected him to be different.

But it didn't change the fact that she missed him, on that night maybe more than ever. She supposed he probably wouldn't care if he knew what happened that day, that she won the fight she'd told him about. If only he'd waited one more week. Of course she wouldn't have run away with him a week later either, but at least then they could have compromised. She had one less thing to worry about now, and could be more open to his suggestions of any kind. If only she knew why he couldn't wait, why was he so eager to leave, what was he expecting from that trip to a place she'd never thought he'd want to go. She had so many questions, he'd left so many behind, and now that she was freed from her dreads and worries about the firm, she kind of felt ready to ask these questions from him, if it wasn't already too late.

Maybe it was the scotch, maybe the high she felt after winning a huge battle, but she didn't think any more, just reached for her phone and called him, in the hope that he'd answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Hey," he answered after just two rings, and she felt her heart pounding in her chest.

"Hey," she replied, and realized she couldn't say anything more.

She had the list of questions, but she couldn't start right with them. She might have broken this man's heart just a week ago, she was starting to think calling him wasn't the best idea. But she did call him, and she couldn't back off.

"How are you?" she asked the only question that came to her mind, and she felt like hitting her head to a wall for being so silly.

"I'm fine, what about you?"

"I'm," _happy_, she wanted to say, but realized in time that stating that would make things even worse, "fine."

"Is everything all right? You sound so weird."

"Everything's fine, I just wanted to," _why did she call again_? She had to think back, and she wished she hadn't drunk so much scotch before, because it was clearly not helping her to keep going with this conversation. "call you," she admitted and sighed.

"And why you wanted to call me?"

"Why aren't you always so patient?" she asked her first serious question, and started feeling better again.

"Why aren't I? Are you serious?"

"I am," she said with confidence and sat back in her chair. "Why did you have to push me? With this fight right over my head, which I won by the way, not that you'd care," she was being mean, and that made her feel uncomfortable again.

"Congrats on you big win."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," _yet again,_ she couldn't believe that she was apologizing to him, but his voice was sarcastic, and she didn't want him to get angry with her.

"Diane, this isn't going anywhere."

"How do you know?" she asked, silently wondering what was happening to her. She just kept asking one silly question after another, it was unbelievable. She didn't know why it was so hard to ask him what she really wanted; he just made it so difficult.

"Because you made it clear last week that you'd choose your firm over anyone."

"You shouldn't have made me choose in the first place," she said and she felt her head was suddenly clear.

"Did you call me to throw this at my head?"

"No," she didn't plan to attack him, she wanted to ask him those questions. But doing this on the phone suddenly felt like a stupid idea.

"I'm asking again, Diane. Why did you call?"

"Because I miss you."

* * *

**Author's note**: I'm sorry that this chapter is shorter than usual, but there's a reason I had to end it there. Besides I'm not sure if I should post more of this or not...


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **thank you for those who took the time to review. I dedicate this chapter to them: Babyshaq99 and Caity224 :-)

* * *

**Chapter Three**

The words were said, and she couldn't take them back, but she didn't feel like doing it either. She was waiting for his reply, but she only heard a sigh on the other end of the line. After a minute of silence she couldn't bare it any longer.

"Maybe you are right, this isn't going anywhere…" she started, but she couldn't finish the sentence, because he finally replied, interrupting her.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"What am I doing?" she told him she missed him, something she'd probably never admitted to any man before.

"Calling me at such a late hour, telling me you miss me, a week after you…" he stopped here, without finishing the sentence.

"Why couldn't you wait one more week? I told you I had a fight at work, but it's over now," she was desperately trying to point out how important that was for her, she wished he would understand.

"Would you say yes, if I asked you again?"

"Would I say yes to running away with you?" The fact that he asked it again flattered her.

"Yes."

"No, I can't run away, it's just not me. And why are you so keen on running away anyway?"

Just as he didn't care why she couldn't go away with him, she also didn't ask why it was so important for him to go away. Of course she knew the case was hard on him, but it was over.

"So it's the same as it was last week."

"I just don't think running away is the next step, I…I barely know you."

That was indeed true. Besides some political arguments, and everyday things, they haven't talked about personal stuff. They didn't take the time to get to know each other better. They've been attracted to each other from the very beginning, and let their mutual lust take the best of them.

"We could change that."

"With running away? And what if it turns out to be a bad idea? I can't take the risk of losing my firm for something so unstable."

Leaving the firm a week ago was impossible, for obvious reasons. Bond would have voted her out, and she would have had nothing to come back to. Leaving it now was still not an option. Will would never forgive her for that, and would probably start looking for another partner the minute she walked out the door.

"That's how you see us?"

"Is there even an us? We've been rushing things from the beginning. First you tell me you have feelings for me, then you cut everything off with not calling me, and only come back when you need my help. Tell me, if you hadn't been sued, would you have come back to me?"

She was sure he wouldn't. The fact that he didn't call her meant a lot, especially from him. She started wondering if she was the reason for that. She did pull that trick on him on the deposition of the Arkin case, but they cleared that up later. He seemed to have forgiven her, and she even agreed to try and avoid something like that happening again in the future. But then something must have changed because he left and she hadn't heard from him, which made his proposal even more surprising than it originally was.

If somehow he decided that they didn't have a future together, then why did he even start that proposal? She was already confused, but he wasn't helping her, not with his decisions lately.

"I don't know."

"And you're wondering why I didn't say yes."

She appreciated his honesty, but she realized it wasn't leading anywhere. First he wanted to stay away from her, then he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. They both weren't sure what they wanted on the long term, but she was sure she wanted to be with him at that very moment.

"I…I said I was sorry."

"I know, and I appreciated it, but forgiving you for that is one thing, running away with you is something completely different. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that, but I know that right now, I'm not."

She was honest with him and she expected him to appreciate her honesty, just like she appreciated his.

"I see."

"But it doesn't mean I want to lose you."

She was begging the man _again_, something she wasn't proud to see herself doing at that moment, but she couldn't help herself. Her self-control was probably inside the scotch bottle, and she was still unable to get it back.

"Diane…"

"Don't _Diane_ me! I'm practically making a fool of myself in front of you right now, so don't even think about using that on me."

She was starting to get impatient, she wanted him to tell her he had forgiven her, that they still had a chance. But instead of all this he started to laugh.

"Do you find it funny?" she asked.

"No," he replied and stopped laughing. "I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?"

"What do I want you to say? I want you to…" she couldn't finish the sentence, because he cut in.

"I miss you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Her lips curled up in a smile, after hearing his words. She thought it would be easier to get through to him, but she didn't mind the challenge. She knew he had a reason to be bothered by her call, he was probably not expecting to hear from her ever again.

"So what now?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"I think we need to talk."

She knew they'd have a better chance if they talked on the phone, otherwise they'd end up, where they usually ended up when being together. But they couldn't talk about those serious questions on the phone, they needed to do that in person.

"I agree."

"Where are you?"

She just realized that she didn't even know if he was still in the state, or he'd long left to Costa Rica, as he'd planned.

"In Florida."

"Florida?"

She was surprised to hear that answer, and it made her a bit sad at the same time. He was not in Costa Rica, but he was indeed far away. She wanted to be with him that night, and her plans were just shattered.

"Yes."

"What are you doing there? Working on a case again?"

"No, I'm staying with my sister and her family."

"You have a sister?"

Their conversation suddenly got to a personal level that they'd never touched before. She knew nothing about his family background, just like she didn't tell him anything about hers.

"I have two sisters, one of them is living in Florida."

"And when are you coming back?"

"I'm not sure."

"What about the weekend?"

It was Wednesday, and she had many appointments as well as a court date in the next two days, but she was ready to take her weekend off to try and fix this with him.

"I didn't plan to go back this weekend."

"But are you free this weekend?"

"I could arrange that, but you are not planning on coming here, are you?"

He sounded as if he was afraid of her saying yes, she started to wonder what his reason could be.

"No, but you make the idea sound so bad, why?"

"Well, my sister…"

"You've told your sister about me?"

This shouldn't have surprised her, but it still did. She hasn't talked about him with anyone. Of course that was her, she couldn't expect him to do the same, they were different.

"I…needed some advice."

"And what did she suggest?"

She was starting to not like where this line of questioning was leading.

"You want to talk about this now? It's getting late."

"Yes, I want to know how your sister sees me. Am I the cold-hearted bitch?"

She wanted to shock him with her words, it kind of made her angry that their private life was on the table in his sister's house, while she was so keen on keeping it from everyone around her.

"Diane…"

"Wait, this was not the first time you visited her lately, right? That case in Florida, when you came back but never called. Was it because of her?"

She couldn't believe she was able to put the pieces together, she officially wasn't under the influence of the alcohol any more. She knew something must have happened, she knew it couldn't have been her fault, since they parted in peace, with the promise of him calling her after he gets back. She wasn't sure if she should hate Kurt for listening to his sister or hate his sister – whom she didn't even know and at that moment wasn't so keen on getting to know either – for whatever she may or may not have said that changed things for them.

"She just cares for me, she made me see things from a different perspective."

He didn't even deny the fact.

"I bet she loved it when you told her you proposed to me."

She knew she sounded sarcastic, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to be angry with someone, blame someone for the evenings she spent waiting for his call. She acted so stupid, so unlike herself, and all this for a man, who let himself being influenced by his own sister.

"She said I was a fool."

"At least she and I agree on that," she couldn't help but chuckle and it kind of blew the beginning of her anger away.

She decided to try and forget about his sister and concentrate on her original plan. She can still meet his sister later, and show her she was mistaken, but first she needed to prove her wrong.

"Diane…"

"Memphis."

She quickly named the first city between Chicago and Florida that came to her mind. She'd never been there, not that she ever wanted to, but it sounded like a good solution

"Memphis?"

"It's half way from here and from there. I'd love to meet you in Memphis this weekend. What do you say?"

She decided not to take no for an answer.

"All right."

She started to smile again. She was going to see him soon, and it just felt so right.

"Thank you, and good night."

"Good night," he replied, and she almost hung up, when she heard his voice.

"Diane?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still in your office?"

"How do you know?"

"It was just a guess."

"A good one," she chuckled.

"Go home."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

If there was something he hadn't expected, it was definitely this call from her. It was confusing and unsettling. He tried everything he could to forget about her. That's why he came to his sister's house again. He managed to get Diane out of his mind here once, he thought he could do it again, and try and go on with his life. He wasn't over her yet, he needed more time to heal, he still missed her. She just called him in time to turn him back to the state he was in a week before.

He wanted to hate her for that, but he couldn't possibly hate her. He couldn't hate her when she went up against him on the deposition using the information he'd voluntarily shared with her, because of his feelings for her. He couldn't hate her when she rejected his proposal, and chose work over him. He loved her too much to let any other feeling find it's place in his heart. He knew he was weak to stop loving her, but he started to feel strong enough to forget about her, because he had to forget about her.

He has never met a woman like Diane Lockhart before, she was a mystery to him. The more he wanted to be with her the more she pushed him away, but each time he tried ignoring her she seemed unable to deal with that. Apparently the woman didn't know what she wanted, and he wasn't sure how long he could handle that before getting his heart broken.

He left her a week before and intended on never seeing her again. He talked about this with his sister again, who helped him believe he had done the right thing. She loved him enough not to want him suffer, and she was ready to help him through this hard phase. When he came back to her sister's house, he was ashamed to tell her he'd broken his promise and visited Diane again. Helen had told him Diane would hurt him in the end, and she was right about that.

Of course Diane was the best person to turn to for help, he needed the best lawyer in town, but the fact that he still had feelings for her was also a reason he chose her. And the minute he saw her again he regretted that he'd stayed away, and when he realized she'd missed him as well, he thought coming back to her wasn't a bad idea after all. He started to have those feelings again, he started hoping again, and ended up getting hurt again.

Helen was right, Diane was not the woman he needed, but he still didn't want anyone else but her. The way she forgave him for his absence, the way she fought for his case, the way she said goodbye to him, these all lead him to think that she had feelings for him too. And he still walked away from her, and promised himself and his sister to try and forget about her, because he needed to do that. Not because he wanted to.

But she wouldn't let him forget about her. She made the first step by calling him, and he tried hard not to give in, but he couldn't help it. Of course they missed each other, but it was more than that. The woman was honest with him, made him see things from her point of view. Helen had been helpful, but she didn't know Diane, all she cared about was him. Not that he would claim to know Diane that well, but his sister didn't know her at all.

Besides, Diane acted so unlike herself that night, on the phone. He'd almost regretted leaving her behind, but that seemed like the right decision that night. He needed to get out of there, where everything reminded him of that dreadful trial. He'd been nothing but proud of his achievements in his work all his life, he was a well-known and respected ballistics expert in the whole country. And a criminal offender almost managed to put an end to his career. It was more than he could handle alone, and he was grateful for Diane for being on his side, not just as his lawyer. She helped him though all this hell, and he thought she wasn't just doing her job, it was more than that. Maybe he misunderstood the signals, and thought that the proposal was a good idea. He wasn't so sure of that any more.

He was willing to try and forget about the proposal, as if it never happened. Diane was right, they'd been rushing things from the beginning. And they made another mistake, they never really talked. They needed to get to know each other better, they needed to talk and share, they needed to understand each other. But for that they needed to spend more time together, and he had no idea how Diane would arrange that, but if she was ready to try and fix this between them, how could he say no? He never denied the fact that he loved her, and giving her another chance was the least she deserved.

He turned off the lights and laid back in bed. For the first time in days he had a smile on his face. He had no idea how he'd tell this to Helen, he wasn't even sure he should tell this to her, but he was unable to hide his feelings from her, and she'd surely realize the change. They knew each other too well. She noticed the change when he visited her a few months ago, she forced him to talk about everything, about Diane. First he didn't mind, but Helen made him see things from a different perspective that he didn't like. Maybe Helen was right, but maybe she was just too worried about him getting hurt. But once again he decided to take the risk of her telling him later _she told him so_, because Diane Lockhart seemed worthy to take that risk for.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

After dinner Kurt went right up to his room, he needed to finish packing. It didn't take long and his sister was already standing in his room. He expected her to be upset, after what happened at the dinner table.

"Alan was so disappointed, you promised him you'd be there on his football match this weekend. He was looking forward to showing you how much he's improved since the last time you were here."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'll try to make up for it, but something came up."

He disappointed his nephew, but he was sure the boy will forgive him, maybe he could even encourage that with a present, and he'll arrange to find time to watch his game next time, it was just impossible this weekend.

"Something? You mean someone, right?"

"How do you know?"

"It just shows on your face big brother. We've seen you being blue ever since you arrived, but I suspected that something happened, because today you seem different."

"I hate that I can't hide anything from you," he chuckled, but it looked like Helen didn't appreciate his good mood.

"And I hate to see you sad, but please don't tell me it's that Diane again. Not that you'd need to tell, I know it's her and I have to say I don't like it. This woman is killing you. Haven't you suffered enough?"

"I just…I love her."

"But she doesn't love you. What did she promise this time? Will she stop being her selfish-self?"

"Stop it! I know you want what's best for me, but that's enough. I can deal with her on my own."

He tried not to raise his voice, but she made it clear that he didn't like the way she talked about Diane.

"Yeah sure, then why did you come here at all?"

"I…I don't know. Maybe it was a bad idea. I shouldn't have listened to you on the first place. I should have called her when I went back the last time."

"Just so she could have thrown you out much earlier, right?"

"You're mean."

"Yes, I am mean, because I haven't seen you acting so foolishly before. You need someone who loves you, who wants to be with you, who puts you first. Her work is her love, you have no place in her life."

"I don't have to listen to this, do I?"

"Fine, go, be with her, but if she breaks your heart again, I won't even bother to tell you I told you so," she left before he could say anything else.

This was the first real fight they had because of Diane. He knew Helen was right about some things, but he had hopes and he didn't want his hopes to be taken away.

He had spent his day planning their weekend, he booked both their flights and the hotel for two nights. He talked to Diane's assistant, because he figured she wouldn't have time arrange things for herself. He told the girl to take all the credit, and shouldn't even mention to Diane that they talked. That was the least he could do, and he was glad to do it anyway, because it left him with less time to think, or just wait. He didn't want to disturb her, so he just left her a text message saying he'd be there waiting for her in the hotel the next night.

o-o-o-o-o

It was 11 pm on a Friday night and Diane Lockhart was pissed. She was sitting in a hotel room in a foreign city and she was all alone. She was unable to reach the man who had promised to be there with her that night, but didn't bother to show up.

It was true that they hadn't spoken the last two days, but she asked her assistant to arrange everything, and told her to leave him a message with the details. She was too busy to call him, but she let him know that she'd be there. She only tried to reach him before they took off, but his cell was off. It didn't bother her then, but when she arrived at the hotel, and the receptionist told her he hadn't checked in yet she started to worry.

She tried to call him constantly, but his cell was still off. She left him a few messages, and she even went as far as calling the airport and asking about the flights from Florida – she realized she didn't even know where he was in Florida exactly – but they told her that all flights from Florida landed in time that day. After a while she gave up. She called the airport again, and booked herself a flight back to Chicago for the next morning.

She decided that whatever reason he had for not getting on that plane and not calling her, she didn't care, because she started to think that the reason was her. Maybe he talked to his sister again, maybe he expected _her _and not her assistantto call him, maybe he just wanted to hurt her as she hurt him. Whatever was the reason, she didn't care any more, she wanted that night to be over, she wanted it to be morning already, she wanted to go back, and forget.

There was a minibar in the room, but she didn't think of using it. She was not the kind of person to drink away her pain. She just wished she didn't feel that pain. She called the reception and asked for a sleeping pill. She took the pill and went to bed, and tried not to think. She knew she couldn't control her dreams, but just this one night she wanted to have no dreams at all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The constant beep of the heart rate monitor echoed in the silent hospital room, where Helen McVeigh-Graham was sitting at the side of the bed, and couldn't take her eyes off her brother. It was so unfair seeing him like that, the brother she'd looked up to all her life. It was painful seeing him defeated, lying there, and unconscious. The doctor used the dreadful word coma, which made Helen think of people she'd heard of waking up after weeks or months. It's been _only _a few hours, but it was already painful enough.

She wasn't exactly sure how long she'd been sitting there. She was preparing lunch when she got the phone call that a terrible accident happened to Kurt. She wasn't sure how she even managed to drive into the hospital in one piece. She could have easily ended the same way he did. By the time she got there he was already lying in the exact same position, without one single move, with machines and tubes all around him.

The doctor said that he was in a critical condition, and it was hard to predict when he would wake up. But he was alive, with bandage on his head and bruises on his face, but alive. She wanted him to wake up and say something to her, anything. She'd never wished so badly for a thing in her whole life. The thought of not being able to talk to him again scared her. Especially when she remembered their very last conversation.

After their _fight_ the previous night, they haven't talked much. He left almost without a word that morning. She couldn't help but blame herself for what happened to him, she couldn't stop the guilt from spreading in her mind. _Don't let the sun go down on your anger._ Her mother used to tell her children every time they had a fight. She would be truly disappointed in her.

Her brother turned to her for comfort, and she was sure she was helping him, until the previous night. He was devastated when he arrived a week before, she'd never seen him so bitter. He needed her help, her family's help, he needed to forget. She thought he was on the way of healing already, he was still sad, but learnt to accept the circumstances, and was ready to move on. At least that was what he told her, and she wanted to believe him, for his own good.

She wished him to be happy, but from what he'd told her about that woman, she was sure she wouldn't be able to make that happen. She's been married to a man she loved for twenty years, she's always been a housewife, standing by her husband, bringing up their children. She'd never wanted anything else, she'd never wanted to have a career, she was happy with her life.

It was hard for her to understand why a woman would choose a career over children, her children made her life complete. She wished for her brother to have children too. He would be a great dad, he's more than proved it with the way he cared for her children, and their other nieces and nephews. Their sister, Sarah had four children, while Kurt – the only male sibling -was still single. In a way he's also chosen his career over family, but she knew that deep in his heart he wished for the latter, he just hasn't had luck to find his other half yet.

She had seen him in love and in delusion before, but this time it was different. He was ready to put love before everything, he saw it as a kind of last chance, he even proposed, and that woman broke his heart. And he still wanted to be with her, in fact he was supposed to be with her right then. Helen didn't want this to happen, she didn't want him to meet her ever again, to give her another chance, but she hated the way this came true.

She blamed herself for what happened, and at the same time she realized what power she had in her hand. Her brother was lying there unconscious, and that woman was probably waiting for him, in vain. She looked at her watch and realized it was morning already. She hadn't even bothered to look out the window before, she's been too immersed in her thoughts.

If that woman was waiting for him the previous day, she must have given up by then. She probably thought he didn't go because he didn't want to, not because he couldn't. And she was the only person who knew, who could tell her, if she wanted to. But she didn't want to, she wanted her to forget him, she wanted her to move on, and let her brother do the same.

But Kurt will hopefully wake up soon, and she won't be able to deal with his blame, not after seeing him so helpless, after almost losing him. He needed her, and not just to sit there and be there for him. She felt that he needed her to put aside her disapproval, and just for this once think of what would do right for him at that very moment.

That woman needed to know what happened, because Kurt would want her to know. She realized that he'd never forgive her if she didn't tell her. She probably wouldn't care anyway, she would probably see it as a sign and move on quickly. She imagined her reaction that way, based on the image she got from her through her brother's eyes.

Her eyes drifted to the nightstand, where she put all his belongings, everything that had been found in his car after the accident, including his cell phone. It was turned off, but she easily found out the code to turn it on. She didn't have to wait long until she got the message that he had 4 voicemails from Diane, the last one arrived several hours ago. She was tempted to listen to them, but she resisted, and called her number instead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

She was waiting for the check-in at the airport when her cell phone started to ring in her purse. It was early, but she wanted to leave with the first flight, to get out of that city as soon as possible. The sleeping pill had worked, and she managed to forget about everything, until the alarm went off. When she woke up in the silent hotel room and looked around, the pain and the anger came back again. She couldn't believe that she'd been such a fool to take this step for a man, who turned out to be unworthy.

She should have seen that coming, since it wasn't the first time that he let her down. She just wished it didn't hurt that much this time. It hurt even more than his goodbye a week before. It was her decision then to say 'no' to him and let him go. She had to make that decision, because he left her no other choice. But after that phone call, she really trusted him to come. She had hopes that the thing they had wasn't completely lost yet, and she thought he felt the same. But he wasn't there, and she couldn't wait to be on her way home and never look back.

While she was waiting she couldn't get rid of these thoughts, he was on her mind all the time. She should have been glad for the interruption, but she didn't feel like talking to anyone either. Still the call could have been work related, so she needed to take it. When she saw his name on the screen she felt her anger coming through again. She was tempted to push the 'busy' button instead of the other, but she would have been a coward, if she did it. So she took a deep breath instead and answered the call.

"Yes?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, and then she was surprised to hear a woman's voice.

"Miss Lockhart?"

"Yes, this is she…who is this?" she asked, and checked the screen of her cell phone again.

"I'm Helen Graham…McVeigh."

Diane didn't know what to say, so she kept silent.

"I have to talk to you about my brother, Kurt."

When it occurred to her that Kurt's sister called her from his cell phone, she was tempted to hang up. If there was one person she wouldn't have wanted to talk to that day, it was her.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about," she replied calmly.

"I wish we didn't, but Kurt…"

"I don't want to hear about him," she said simply.

She thought she said what the other woman wanted to hear. She wished to get rid of her and forget that she and her brother had ever existed.

"He is in a coma."

As soon as the words reached her ears she began to feel dizzy and it took her a few seconds to grasp what those words meant. He didn't come, because he was in a coma, and his sister – who hated her – delivered the news to her. She didn't know what to say.

"Miss Lockhart? Are you still there?"

"Yes," she whispered quickly, she didn't want her to hang up.

"He had a car accident. I just wanted to let you know, because…he would want you to know."

At that moment Diane realized how hard that must have been for the other woman to call her, and she started to appreciate it.

"Are you…with him?"

"I am."

"How is he?"

"He is in a critical condition."

"I'd like to go there."

She was surprised to hear her own words, but that was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to go there and be with him.

"I don't think that's a good idea. The doctor can't tell when he would wake up, it would be just a waste of time for you."

Her words caused her pain, but she understood why she said that. She would have thought the same if she'd let her mind think, but she didn't want to think. She didn't want to consider the consequences of going there, she just wanted to be with him.

"I want to go."

She heard a sigh on the other end of the line.

"Fine. We are at the Florida Hospital Orlando."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," she replied then paused, "and thank you."

The other end of the line hang up.

Diane wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing. His sister was already there with him, but neither of them could do anything to really help him anyway. And she knew it would be awkward to meet her, to talk to her. But they had something in common. They both cared deeply for Kurt, even if Helen doubted that, even if she doubted that herself. But at that moment, when his life was in danger, she wasn't afraid to admit it to herself.

She did care for him, more than she had originally thought, perhaps more than she should have. He was the first man in years who had managed to break the walls around her, and he did that so easily. She wasn't the same when he was around, he forced her to let her guards down, and she couldn't resist him. She wished he would stay around forever, she didn't want him to leave, but she didn't tell him that when they said goodbye. She didn't stop him from leaving, just like he didn't offer to stay, but they were not over each other yet.

They wanted to fix things between them this weekend, they both were ready to compromise, but fate interfered. If she had believed in signs, she would have thought the accident was a message, maybe it meant that they had no future. But she always preferred facts to signs, and as long as he was still alive there was hope.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Mrs. Graham?"

Helen slowly opened her eyes, and looked at the direction from where she thought she heard someone calling her name. After having been in the hospital for more than a day, it was no wonder she kind of fell asleep again. She didn't want to leave Kurt alone, she wanted to be there, since it was unpredictable when he'd wake up. Of course she knew she wouldn't last much longer without a real sleep, not even coffee was helping any more. She glanced in her brother's direction for a moment, but she didn't recognize any change in his state.

"Yes?" she asked looking at the nurse again, who was standing in the doorway.

"A woman's just arrived. She wanted to come in, but she is not a member of the family, so I told her I'd ask you. Her name is Diane Lockhart."

Helen checked the time, and realized how long it's been since they talked on the phone. Meanwhile she tried to get used to the idea of meeting her, and prepare herself emotionally. She knew she should try to be friendly with her for Kurt's sake, but she wasn't a person who could hide her reverse feelings easily. Her honesty has gotten her into trouble countless times in her life, but she still preferred to be genuine.

"I'll go and talk to her," she told the younger woman and stood up to follow her outside the room, glancing back at Kurt once more from the door.

She immediately spotted the elegantly dressed blonde woman at the counter, and the sight of her made Helen realize how badly she could have looked herself. She looked down on her clothes - the first piece she found to put on in a hurry after she got the phone call - and could only imagine her face and hair. She must have looked as bad as she felt, and if the other woman was sharing her grief, it didn't show. Her face was composed, it didn't read any emotion.

"Miss Lockhart?" she asked, when she got close enough to the other woman, who looked at her after hearing her name.

"I am. Are you…?"

"I'm Helen, Kurt's sister," she said, extending her hand in her direction.

"Diane, pleased to meet you," she replied with a half smile, shaking her hand, "How is he?" she asked quickly and Helen couldn't miss the anxiety in her voice.

"There's no change, he is still unconscious."

"How did it happen?"

"I haven't been informed about the police investigation yet, but it was an accident. They found him in his car beside the road, unconscious. The car was upside down, he must have hit his head very hard."

"What did the doctor say?"

"He took a CT, but didn't find any serious mutation. He has no internal bleeding either. Apart from a few broken ribs and some bruises on his head and neck, he didn't suffer any other serious injuries, but they are not sure how long the coma can last."

She thought it would be harder to talk about his condition, but it actually felt good to finally share this with someone and it helped that she didn't have to search for the words to say to her. Diane's face and voice both showed her worry for Kurt, which she appreciated. She wasn't sure what Diane knew about her from Kurt, if she knew how she felt about their relationship. But they had someone they both cared about and at that moment all other feelings seemed petty and unimportant.

"May I see him?"

Helen looked at the other woman, and although it was the first time she saw her, she was sure she was acting unlike herself. It somehow didn't match the picture she had in her mind about Diane Lockhart. She imagined her to be…somehow less human.

"I know that you are not exactly…happy to see me here," she heard her say and she realized she didn't answer to her previous question.

"I…," she felt like denying it, but she couldn't seem to find the right words. Diane's behavior made her question all the bad things she'd thought about her, "it's just that I…I thought…"

"You thought I wouldn't come?"

"Yes."

"I don't blame you. I just…I need to see him."

"I know, come with me."

She went ahead to show her the way, but she stopped before entering the door of his room and looked back at her.

"You can go in, and I'll wait outside."

"Thank you."

Helen saw the other woman going into the room and was wondering if she had done the right thing with calling her. With this step, she might have helped her to get closer to Kurt again, the only thing she never thought she'd ever do. She was still sure she'd be ready to break his heart again, if he let her. And if he woke up to find her beside his bed, the chances of him falling for her more than ever, were extremely high. Maybe Diane didn't seem sure of what she was doing, but Kurt would understand her deed the best possible way.

The only thing she could have wished for to prevent this, was that he stayed in a coma for a while. She was sure Diane wasn't ready to stay, maybe they had some weekend plans, but the weekend will be over the next day. She guessed she would have to go back to her firm very soon, she couldn't possibly stay there holding his hand, work was her life after all. But wishing for him to stay in a coma longer - just to get rid of Diane - never occurred to her. She wanted him to wake up, even if it would cause a yet unknown bond between him and Diane, that will most likely be impossible to break.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

She thought she'd gotten over the hardest part, but it only lasted until she entered the room and spotted him in the hospital bed. She'd imagined meeting his sister to be something she should have prepared herself for, and seeing him would have been easier, since he was the reason she came for. But she was proven wrong. And she had no choice, but to believe her own body that responded in the least expected ways when her eyes fell on him. First she felt a sudden strain in her stomach, and it was soon followed by a heavy pain near her heart.

She had to sit down.

That instant she was even more grateful to Helen for letting her visit Kurt alone. She didn't even feel brave enough to face herself at that moment. Had she been seen by her, would have made it a thousand times worse.

She looked at the face that she'd held between her hands when she kissed him goodbye the last time she saw him. It appeared so different to her now, even though it was the same familiar face. She felt like stroking it, but she didn't have the courage.

She didn't know what to do, she felt helpless, and this was a barely known feeling for her. She always had a plan, that's how she lived her life. Always had the next step in mind, that's how she got along, step by step. There was always tomorrow, a new day with new tasks. But her tomorrow faded into the darkness at that moment.

She came to see him, because she wanted to see him with her own eyes, she thought it would help to accept what happened. But now that she was there she was feeling even worse. She felt like running back, running away and never look back. But he was lying there still, the man who made her laugh, who made her blush, who made her feel like a woman. And he almost made her cry as well, but that didn't matter any more.

At that moment she was sure if she had only one wish from life, it would be for him to wake up. And she didn't mind that this wish was selfish. She wanted him to wake up, because she couldn't handle seeing him like that.

She'd always been proud to be a strong woman, but he managed to make her weak so many times. But that was different, she let herself be weak, because she wanted to, because she couldn't resist him. But the weakness she felt now, she knew he wouldn't approve of, because she didn't approve of it herself.

She wanted to fight it, she wanted to go on with her life, leaving him to his sister's care, and only come back when he was healthy again. She knew he'd wake up sooner or later, she knew he wouldn't die. She felt sure about that, even though she couldn't explain why.

It would have been so easy, going back to her work, and leaving him there, and knowing him, he probably wouldn't have protested that either. But even the thought seemed so cruel to her, that she started hating herself for letting that find its way in her head. She couldn't possibly leave him there like that. He needed her to be there, and she wanted to be there. It didn't matter that it didn't make sense, it just had to be this way.

People in a coma could notice the things that were happening around them, she was pretty sure she heard this somewhere. They could hear what they are told, maybe won't remember it later, but still hear it. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, and at least she wouldn't feel so helpless any more if she found something to do, that might help him through this. Help him and help her as well.

She took a deep breath and started to talk.

"Hey," she paused, "Isn't it ironic that I can't tease you now for not talking to me?" she grinned, "Well I could tease you, but it's not so funny when you don't reply with your significant 'yep'," she almost chuckled, but couldn't. "I miss hearing that word from you…I've missed hearing from you in the last months," she sighed.

"I'm only saying this to you now, because there's a pretty good chance you won't remember any of this when you wake up. And if you do, I can pretend it never happened. I'm pretty good at pretending, you know, that's pretty much my whole life. But with you, it has always been different."

"I told you I don't want to lose you. You have to remember that, because it's not something you'd normally hear from my mouth. Or anyone else for that matter. But I meant it then, and I mean it even more now. And I can easily prove you that I mean it, because I won't leave this city until you finally open your eyes. I hope you hear me! I'll stay here, so you'd better hurry back to life, because I have a firm to run."

"I'm sure you wish you were in Costa Rica right now. And you wouldn't be here now if you'd left, if we had left. I know it's my fault, but I don't want to blame myself. You can't just run away and hide when life seems too much to handle. It would have been nice for a week, maybe. But you are almost as workaholic as I am, we would have driven each other crazy after a week of doing nothing. Believe me, we would have. "

"It's not so much fun arguing with you when you can't respond. There are so many things we should discuss, and we will talk about everything, just please, wake up!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"I'm really sorry, we have done everything we could," said the man standing in front of her, and she understood what he meant, even before he finished the sentence. "We lost him."

She tried to prepare herself to hear this ever since she'd been told to leave his room a while ago. She was the one calling for help, after she'd been woken up by the unusual sound of the heart monitor. As long as she stayed inside, waiting for the doctor to arrive, she couldn't take her eyes off him, as if she intended to burn the last image of his face in her mind.

The foyer was silent, it was the middle of the night and she was alone. Helen left her with him that night, she went home to sleep, and they agreed that they'd trade places the next day, so she could sleep too. Helen even offered her the guest room in their house. Diane wasn't sure if she should have accepted the offer, but she didn't want to hurt Helen by rejecting it either. She felt that it meant a lot, especially coming from her, so she agreed.

She'd been sitting at the side of his bed, hoping he'd wake up soon, falling asleep once in a while, until that dreadful moment came.

She tried not to panic, stay as calm as she could and prepare herself for the worst, but when the doctor told her that there was no hope anymore, her strength wasn't proven enough. She felt the air starting to leave her head, and the next moment everything was dark.

o-o-o-o-o

She woke up in an empty hospital room, and for a moment she wasn't sure where she was and how she got there, but then she remembered everything, and immediately felt the pain in her chest.

_We lost him._

The sentence kept on echoing in her ears. Kurt was dead, she'd lost him, and this time it was unalterable.

It was sadness, emptiness, disappointment, anger, bitterness and so much more that she felt that moment. And guilt, because she couldn't help blaming herself for what had happened.

The feeling of losing someone was familiar to her, she had even lost loved ones unexpectedly before, and dealt with that as best as she could. But this guilt was new to her, as well as the urge she felt, to break down and cry, until this nightmare was over, until she found herself back in her own life again. She wished she could turn back time, she wished she'd never called him, he would still be alive.

And she wished for those tears to come, but they never did.

o-o-o-o-o

As if her guilt hadn't been enough, as soon as she faced Helen again, she saw in her eyes that she blamed her as well.

And from that moment on all she wanted to do was get out, leave that place, and deal with her grief alone. She got on the first plane back to Chicago.

After she arrived home she took a hot bath with a drink in her hand, and tried to free her head from all thoughts. But after taking the first sip, memories started to infest her mind. Memories of him and her, and she couldn't get rid of them.

She felt her self-control disappear step by step, and as soon as the first teardrop started streaming down her cheek, she suddenly lost all control and threw her glass at the wall.

o-o-o-o-o

She was woken up by the ringing of her cell phone. She sat up in bed and looked around, searching for the phone, but didn't see it anywhere. The ringing stopped shortly after that, and she rested her head back on the pillow without looking for it any more. Whoever called, she would call them back later.

She looked around, and realized that she wasn't sure where she was. The tidy room seemed completely unfamiliar. She spotted her suitcase beside the wall, and above that was a picture, a family photo of Kurt with a girl and a boy, and the next moment flashes kept appearing in her mind. Flashes of glass breaking to pieces on a wall, then she heard a voice telling her _we lost him_. She suddenly got scared and didn't dare to close her eyes again. She wanted to get rid of the images in her head.

She got out of bed to search for her phone and found it in her purse. The missed call was from Will. She'd tried to reach him before going to sleep, but he didn't answer. She wanted to tell him that she'd need a few days off. She wasn't sure how he'd react, but she was determined to stay, because she'd promised Kurt.

She looked around in the room again, calmer this time. The images and the voices seemed to disappear from her head, and she saw everything clearly again. She remembered leaving the hospital a few hours before, after having spent the night at the side of his bed. She left Kurt to Helen's care, her husband drove her to their home and as soon as she was left alone in the room she fell into sleep, fully clothed.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a silent knock on the door and as it opened, she faced the girl from the photo, she'd just seen on the wall.

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard noises," said the girl from behind the half opened door.

"Are there any news?" Diane asked quickly, forgetting that they hadn't even been introduced yet.

"No. Mom called an hour ago, everything is the same."

Diane let out a huge sigh. In this case no news was also good news, especially after what she'd been through during the last hours. But at that moment it became clear to her that it had only been a nightmare.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"Dad! Mel has eaten my piece of meat too."

"No I haven't."

"Yes you have, I turned away and it disappeared from my plate."

"You have eaten it already, you just forgot."

"No I haven't."

"Guys, please, we have a guest here. Try and behave yourself. I'm sorry," he added looking at Diane, who had been sitting there silently, almost not eating anything.

She wanted to be back at the hospital as soon as possible, especially after the dream she'd had, but she couldn't say no to this family dinner. Eating was really the last thing on her mind, although she didn't remember the last time she'd eaten anything.

"It's ok," she said looking at the kids. "You can have my meat Alan."

"Cool," said the twelve-year-old, taking her on her offer immediately.

Diane smiled at the sight of the boy eating the food greedily, and realized it was the first time she'd smiled during the last days. At that moment she was glad she'd accepted the invitation. Getting to know a part of Kurt's family was something she thought she'd never do, but the accident changed everything. She never really cared about other people's opinion, but Kurt was important for her, so she wished to make a good impression on his family. Even though Helen tried not to show it, Diane still found traces of antipathy in her behavior, but it was hard to tell if her husband shared those feelings too. And she had no idea if the kids knew why she was there, but soon after she gave Alan her food she found herself as a target of his attention.

"Mel said you're Uncle Kurt's girlfriend."

Diane widened her eyes, but before she could reply anything Melissa interfered.

"I said friend, not girlfriend"

"You said girlfriend, I know you did."

"Shut up."

"Guys," their father tried to interfere again, and this time Diane didn't mind.

"Do we have to call you Aunt Diane?" asked Alan again, and Diane had a hard time hiding her chuckle.

"I…don't know about that…"

"Because Uncle David had a girlfriend once, and she insisted on being called Aunt. We hated her."

"Alan!" Jason raised his voice a bit, but it didn't scare his son.

"You can call me Diane," she replied, and the little boy smiled.

"I like you," he said finishing the last piece of his meat then asked for a permission to leave the table and so did his sister.

"I'm really sorry about that," Jason told Diane when they were alone.

"Don't be. It's ok, he is curious, as he should be."

"I'd like to tell you something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"Tell me what?"

"You're nothing like I thought you would be."

Diane appreciated the compliment, but tried not to show it. Her unvoiced question was answered sooner than she'd hoped.

"How did you think I would be?" she asked even though she kind of imagined the answer.

"Well…different," he replied, then stood up from the table. "We'd better get going."

"Yes, I just need to make a quick phone call first if you don't mind."

"Sure."

o-o-o-o-o

When she told Will that she wanted to take a few days off, he was as surprised as she thought he would have been. She didn't remember the last time she'd done that, and surely neither did he. Will carefully tried to inquire about her reasons, but she turned him down. She wasn't sure how to tell him something she didn't understand herself. Of course she could have told him what had happened to Kurt, but she wasn't sure it would have explained why she stayed away from work, especially when some tough decisions were needed to be made by both of them. But she was sure that he knew she wouldn't have stayed away, unless it had been important. They briefly discussed some urgent matters, and she promised to call him again soon.

Maybe it was a mistake to stay there, but somehow she didn't care, because it just felt like the right thing to do. She had feelings for Kurt, however hard she tried to hide them, even from herself. She still shivered as she thought of how his death affected her in her dream. She knew it could have happened for real, that he could die any minute, leaving only their memories behind.

Memories that haunted her when he was away, and haunted her even more now that his life was in danger. They hadn't spent much time together, but hadn't wasted any of that time either. And she didn't really mind. They were both experienced enough to know it was rare to find someone at their age, with whom everything just felt right. Surely that was the reason of his proposal too, he just hadn't thought of the consequences. She wouldn't mind changing her life for him a little, but she wasn't ready to give it up entirely.

She chose to spend her life alone partly because she found satisfaction in her work, but partly because she'd never met the right man. Except for that one time, when she was asked to choose between love and her career, but she didn't even have a career back then, it was all just a dream, a dream that later came true, with hard work and lots of sacrifices along the way. And there was still a way up for her, she just had to decide if she wanted to take it. But at that moment her firm was the most important thing for her, the firm that she had almost lost, but managed to keep in the end.

Still there she was, more than a thousand miles away, sharing a table with a family she'd just met, simply because she felt that her place was there. Her heart drew her there, and it simply wouldn't let her leave.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The silence between them was starting to get frustrating, especially because they were both wide awake thanks to the coffee they had drunk earlier and the sufficient amount of sleep. Both of them stayed in the hospital room that night, but they'd already completed the conversation a long time ago. She knew how the other liked her coffee, they talked about her children, and she told her she'd taken a few days off from work to stay there. But after they'd been done with this polite talk, both of them seemed to sink in their own thoughts. There was one topic they both intentionally avoided; they didn't mention the man who was lying in bed in front of them.

Helen had to admit to herself, that she had been wrong about judging Diane. She obviously cared about her brother a lot. It had been hard to convince her to leave his bedside even for a few hours of sleep. Helen also appreciated her decision to stay there for at least a few more days, she knew it was a sacrifice for her, but it looked like she didn't mind. Nothing seemed to be more important for her than Kurt, and this made Helen regret her previous behavior towards her.

She kept herself wishing to get to know her better, and talk to her about her brother. Their other sister being away, Diane was the only person who could really share her feelings for him and her fear of losing someone she loved.

"It is really nice of you to stay here," she said, smiling in the direction of the other woman.

"I'd like to be here when he wakes up. I just wasn't sure, if you would…"

"I…I don't know what Kurt had told you about me," Helen decided that it was the right time to clear up the whole situation.

"Not much, he just mentioned that I probably shouldn't come here because of you. But of course that was before…the accident."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you here."

Diane smiled just a little, but it faded away quickly. She looked even more worried since she'd arrived back from their house. Helen knew she couldn't just ask her for the reason, but she felt like comforting her nevertheless.

"Look, I'm not ashamed to admit that I had been biased, because I hated to see my brother suffer. But I know he made a mistake with that proposal, so his misery was partly his own fault."

Diane didn't reply anything, but she was looking at her.

"I just want him to be happy. He deserves it, he is a good guy."

"I know," Diane said smiling at her a little again.

"He was sixteen when our father died. He was the eldest, and the only boy, so he thought it was his responsibility to protect us from every danger. That was the time when he started to get interested in guns and it soon became his passion. He asked for a book for Christmas that year, I only remember that it was at least a thousand pages long, but he stayed up until he read it all."

"That sounds like me," said Diane, who seemed to enjoy hearing about him.

"I've never been much of a reader, I loved drawing much more."

"That has always been my weakness," Diane chuckled silently.

"To each her own," Helen said smiling, she liked that they found a way to talk to each other without feeling cramped.

But the next moment they were both forced to look in his direction, as the heart monitor changed its normal sound. Helen looked at Diane, who jumped up from her seat, to get closer to Kurt, who was as motionless as before. If there was something wrong with him, it didn't show from the outside.

"I'll go and get the doctor," said Helen quickly, while Diane didn't say a word, just stared at him.

By the time Helen got back with the doctor Diane was as white as the walls around them. The doctor didn't say what was wrong with the patient, but told both of them to leave the room.

Diane didn't want to leave, so Helen had to force her to walk out of the room with her, gently taking her arm. She felt that the woman was trembling.

They sat down next to each other in the waiting area.

"Everything will be all right," said Helen, trying to convince both of them, but she felt her fear growing, and the other woman's face scared her even more. She wanted to know why she looked the way she did, the doctor hadn't told them anything that should have given them a reason to worry.

"I had a dream," said Diane in trembling voice, "I dreamt about this, the sound, the doctor. Except you, you weren't here."

"And what happened?" she asked fearing her reply.

"We lost him," she said with sadness in her voice and eyes.

Helen was feeling sorry for her, she could only imagine what she'd been going through.

"That was just a dream," she tried to calm her with her voice.

"I could never forgive myself," Diane said silently.

"For what?"

"It's my fault that he is here, that he is dying."

"If it's anybody's fault, that's me," Helen replied silently.

From that moment neither of them talked and Helen thought how ironic it was that they both felt guilty for what had happened to him, even though it was obviously not in their control. But this common guilt brought them even closer to each other, she was sure that Diane felt the same way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"How are you?" his sister asked taking his hand as she sat down on a chair next to his bed.

"I'm dizzy."

"That's normal I guess. Did the doctor say anything?"

"He said I was lucky, but he didn't tell me what happened."

"Don't you remember?"

"I was driving to the airport, and then," he stopped here, when he suddenly remembered why he was driving to the airport that day. "What day is it, Leny?"

"Sunday, well Monday actually, it's 4 a.m," she replied checking her watch.

"How long have I been here?"

"Since Friday, more than two days."

"She was waiting for me on Friday," he said after a short pause. He wasn't sure if he should bring up the subject in front of Helen, because he remembered their last conversation.

"I know. I called her."

"You called her?"

"Yes. Look. I'm sorry for the things I'd said."

"It's ok. You were right."

"I was right? What are you talking about?"

"I should have listened to you."

"No, I was wrong, I…"

"Just look at me," he said looking in her eyes. "Look where I ended. I should have listened to you."

"But Diane…"

"What did she say when you told her?"

"She came here."

"She did what?"

"She came here. She is here."

He hadn't expected this reply.

"Why did you call her?"

"Because I thought you would have wanted me to. Have I done something wrong?"

"She shouldn't have come here."

"But she has, and she is still here. She said she wouldn't have left until you woke up."

He was confused. He didn't understand why Diane had come, and why she'd stayed. He didn't want her to see him like that, and he didn't want her to stay just because she pitied him.

"I am awake now," he said simply.

"Don't do this to her, Kurt. She deserves better."

"Look who's talking."

"I didn't know her before, but now that I do…"

"You think you know her? She's been here for what, a day and you claim to know her?"

"I've seen her suffer. I think she loves you."

Her words surprised him again. It was hard to believe that she of all people was defending Diane.

"I don't believe you."

"Then see it for yourself. She's right outside. The doctor told us that we shouldn't have come in together, and Diane let me come first."

"I don't know what to tell her."

That was the truth. All the reasons he'd had for meeting her and clearing things up had vanished with the accident. He wasn't the same person any more. He was a patient, and he'd be for a long time. He needed to be taken care of. He wouldn't be able to leave the city for weeks, maybe longer. And Diane had a life far away from there, she had a firm to run.

"You don't have to say anything, just let her come in and please don't hurt her."

"All right," he agreed, seeing he had no other choice.

"I'll be back later. Should I bring you anything?"

"No. I'm good."

"I'm so happy you're back," she said smiling, and he tried to smile back at her. "Jason and the kids all send their love, and Sarah and the whole family. She couldn't get away from the kids, they are down with the flu. But she will visit as soon as she can."

"That's not necessary. I'll be fine."

"Of course you will. I'll take care of you, like in the old days."

"Thank you Leny. I'm afraid I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. And could you please not tell Diane about this conversation?"

"I won't. But what are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know."

He knew Helen was right, that he shouldn't hurt her. She said she'd suffered, and he believed her. It must have been hard for Diane to see him like that, and that was why she shouldn't have been their in the first place. He was angry with Helen for calling her, although he didn't show.

The accident had changed everything. He had been ready to give her another chance before, but it was lost. He couldn't find a place for her in his life at that moment, and he didn't want her to wait for him, she deserved better. He wanted to tell this to her, but realized it would have been too cruel to start with, he had to think of her feelings. He loved her for coming and staying, but he thought it was a sacrifice she shouldn't have made.

He looked at her as she entered the room, her face showing a mixture of different feelings at the same time. He felt sorry for putting her through all this. He felt like hugging her, and telling her that everything would be all right. But he couldn't do that. It was his fault that their hopes and dreams had been shattered, that they didn't have a chance any more, and he hated himself for that.

"Hey," she said stepping closer to him, but she was still out of reach.

"Hey," he replied and tried to smile at her.

"How are you?"

"Dizzy."

"You need to rest, I won't disturb you for long. I just wanted to see you."

"Thank you for coming, but you shouldn't have."

"I couldn't stay away."

He smiled again, but didn't know what to answer. Diane reached the chair Helen had been sitting on a few minutes before and sat down.

"You scared me," she admitted looking in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. And it's over, you'll get better soon."

"The doctor said it would take long."

"It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that you're back. I was afraid of losing you."

She took his hand and he started to feel evil for his earlier thoughts, and that he had been ready to break her heart again, when she was already so vulnerable. It was obvious that she'd been worried about him, otherwise she wouldn't have been there. She wasn't her usual self, she seemed fragile at that moment. He decided to wait until she would calm down to talk to her. He will convince her of his own truth later, but she needed to find herself back first.

"You haven't lost me," he replied and pressed her hand softly.

They were there for each other at that moment, and he decided to enjoy it as long as it would last.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **I have good news for everyone who's reading this fic. It's finished. I've written all 20 chapters plus an epilogue, and I'm going to post one each week. I really hope you'll enjoy and review it!

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**Chapter Fifteen**

"I think we deserve this now," Helen said taking a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard.

"You read my mind," replied Diane smiling.

They had spent the day at the hospital, and left early in the evening, to let Kurt sleep. The doctor said he would sleep through the night, so they could both leave and do the same. Diane knew she had to decide what she should do now that he was awake, how long she should stay, what she should tell him. But she was unable to think clearly because of the lack of sleep, and the different events of that day.

She had been through so many emotional states during the last hours that she was still unable to calm down properly, even though finally everything seemed to be going fine. The doctor told them that Kurt's condition had gotten stable. She didn't have to worry about losing him any more.

It was still hard to see him so weak and helpless, even though he didn't complain. In fact he hadn't talked much the whole day, at least not to her. But she didn't mind. Staying at the side of his bed made her happy already, she felt him closer to her than ever. She didn't want to think of tomorrow, she was enjoying the present.

The change in Helen's behaviour towards her was also something she was happy about. In Kurt's current condition the last thing she needed was an enemy. She knew she would have to go away soon, and Helen would be the one staying by his side. It was a comfort to know she wasn't against her any more, that she seemed to realize she was on his side as well.

She was grateful for the comfort she'd gotten from Helen the previous night. Normally she would have been able to deal with the situation alone, but her dream complicated everything. She didn't remember the last time she'd been so scared. But instead of losing him, they got him back.

She will always remember the moment when the doctor told them the news. When her previous fears all disappeared at once, and happiness found its way. And she shared that moment with Helen, and she was sure neither of them would ever forget it. Their common feeling of fear and guilt turned into something wonderful, and made their newly formed bond even stronger.

"Alan made me promise that he could sit next to _Uncle Kurt's pretty girlfriend_ at breakfast next morning."

"We could arrange that," she replied chuckling at the description. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

"You're welcome to stay here any time. I really hope we'll see you again soon."

Diane wasn't sure what Kurt wanted, or if they were still together at all. They were supposed to discuss their possible relationship on the day of his accident. She wished to clear things up with him before she'd leave. She wasn't sure she was entitled to come back some other time at all.

"I don't know, Kurt and I have a lot to discuss, but I'm not sure we can do that in his current condition."

"When do you have to leave?"

"I can stay a few more days if he wants me to."

"I'm sure he does, even if he won't say it."

"I don't know, he didn't speak much today."

"He will get stronger each passing day. I'll take care of him, until he will be healthy again."

"I should be doing that."

She felt this way, but had no idea how she would have arranged it. She could stay there for a few more days, maybe a week, but not more. That was all she could offer, but she knew he needed more. He wouldn't even be let out of the hospital in a week, and that would only be the beginning of his long recovery. She wouldn't have been able to nurse him, even if he had been in Chicago, she worked at least 12 hours a day. On the other hand, Helen was a stay-at-home mom, she would be able to take care of him without taking too much sacrifice. Diane knew it was the best possible solution, but she already felt guilty for going away.

"But you can't, you have other responsibilities. I'd gladly help out, and you can visit him anytime you want."

It was ironic how the person who had been against her all the time, turned out to be so supportive of her in the end. But once Kurt makes up his mind, Helen will have to support him whatever his decision will be. She knew she could become an outsider in that family again soon, and she didn't like the idea. She hadn't imagined that she would fit in there so easily, but she did. She liked them, and she wouldn't mind visiting Kurt there as often as she could, if he let her.

"It depends on him."

"He can be so stubborn sometimes."

"I have noticed that."

"Don't let that get to you. He has been through something we can't even imagine. He is not himself right now, and he won't be for a while. We'll have to be patient."

"I know."

She didn't mind being patient, but she knew her time was limited there. And she started to fear that she'd lose him if she went away. But she knew she didn't really have a choice. She once again had to choose her firm over him, even if it would really mean the end for them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Diane felt much better the next morning. She'd slept enough, and was ready to face the day, to face him. She didn't feel like waiting anymore. She planned to ask him about their relationship, weather he wanted her to stay or leave, to come back, or stay away. It was up to him, and she decided not to fight his decision whatever that might have been.

She enjoyed the breakfast with the family, thinking that might have been the last time she sat among them. They were cheerful thanks to the good news, and she liked that she would take this memory with her if she had to leave that day.

She didn't tell Helen about her plan, she didn't want to give her the chance to try to talk her out of it. It was something she and Kurt needed to decide, and she would have left the decision to him, and accepted whatever he suggested. She was hoping for the best, that they could figure this out, but she was ready to deal with anything that day. The fear of losing him had disappeared, and in comparison to that everything else seemed bearable for her. After three endless days she was feeling strong again.

At the hospital they were informed that Kurt's condition had improved, so he was transferred to another room. They didn't need to monitor his heart anymore. This utterly convinced Diane that it was the right time to talk to him.

After she and Helen had spent some time together at his bedside, asking him how he felt, and telling him about the kids, she asked Helen to leave them alone for a while. She didn't protest, and Diane saw in Kurt's eyes that it was what he wanted as well.

"I need to know how you feel about me being here," she started right after Helen had left the room, "I can stay a few more days, maybe a week, I can manage work from here for that period, but I'll need to get back afterwards."

"I know," he replied, and didn't say more.

"I know you'll need constant care, someone who can look after you while you're sick, and I'd love to be that person, but I can't stay here."

He nodded.

"Helen said I could visit you anytime I'd want, and I'd love to come to you if you want me to."

She looked at him with hope in her eyes, waiting for his reply, but he remained silent.

"I know we haven't had the chance to talk about us, but we don't have to do it now, we can do it later. Just let me visit you sometimes, and we will figure it out. Let me be there for you even a little and I promise to do my best."

"I can't ask that from you."

"You don't have to ask. I'll do it anyway if you let me to. It's your decision, and whatever you decide, I'll respect it."

"It means a lot to me that you came, but I think it's time for you to go back to Chicago. I'll be fine here, Leny will take care of me."

"Of course she will," she said smiling, but fearing his following words inside.

"You shouldn't worry about me. You should try and live your life as usual. You have responsibilities there."

"I do and I know you'll be in good hands, but I'd love to come and see you sometimes."

"Don't you think that this accident could have been a sign?"

"For what?" she asked, but she understood what he was referring to.

"Maybe we really don't belong together," he said seriously, carefully placing the words, trying not to hurt her, and she appreciated that.

"Please don't say that! Maybe the accident happened to bring us closer to each other."

"I can't leave here Diane, I can't leave here for a long time, and I won't ask you to wait for me. I can't tie you down, you should be free. I can't promise you anything. I don't even know if my injuries will have any consequences. You deserve better than me."

His words hurt her, but she'd expected to hear this as well. She knew he was proud, that he would rather hide from her, than let her help him. She had no choice but to accept his decision, as she'd intended to, even though it was hard. But she remembered the night about two weeks ago, when she'd done the same to him. She knew it wasn't a payback, she knew it was as hard for him as it had been for her.

"What if I decide to wait?"

"It's your decision, but please don't come here, it would just make things more difficult for both of us."

She had to admit that he made sense, however cruel this sounded from his mouth. She felt her hopes disappear, and emptiness started to find its way instead. She had lost him eventually, or at least she had for a while. She couldn't be sure if he would come back to her again, once he would be able to. She wanted to hope he would, but she didn't see promises in his eyes.

"I won't come," she said bowing her head down.

She saw he tried to lift his hand from the corner of her eye, but he failed. She reached out for that hand and took it into her palms.

"But I'll wait for you," she said softly, looking into his eyes again and he could find all the answers in her eyes.

She wanted to say so much more, but she chose not to. He made his decision, and she had to obey him. It was obvious that he only thought of her, and she loved him for that, but she wished him to be a little more selfish. He acted as if he didn't need her at all, and this hurt her. But she forgave him for that at once, and even though his eyes still didn't show any hope, she couldn't help feeling it again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Diane said she was already leaving. What happened? I thought she wanted to stay for a few more days," Helen asked when she entered the room again.

Diane had only left a few minutes before. He figured that the two women might have talked. He was surprised that they seemed to understand each other so good. He would never have seen this coming. Not that it would have mattered any more. His accident seemed to have brought them closer, and Helen was clearly not against Diane any more, but now _he_ was against their relationship. He had been ready to try and save it and compromise, but the accident made it impossible for him to do so. He hated the circumstances, but they left him no other choice but to send her away.

"You know she has a firm to run, she shouldn't have been here in the first place."

"She came here because of you."

"And she left because of me, and that's the way it's supposed to be."

"You should have seen Alan, he seemed to like her so much. He will be so sad if he doesn't find her there when he comes home from school."

"I'm sorry, but it has to be this way. Alan will forget her as quickly as he got to like her."

He'd never thought that Diane and his family would have gotten along so well, and yet they all seemed to like her so much. He'd thought she wouldn't have really fit in there, but she'd proven him wrong. He didn't like the idea that he would have to fight against his own family now, but he had no choice. He didn't want them to remind him of her all the time, it was already hard enough to handle her absence alone.

"Forget her? Won't she come to visit you?"

"No, I told her not to."

"So you've practically broken her heart. Was it necessary?"

"It was and I'm sure once she'll be back at her firm, she'll soon forget about us. She didn't seem to mind, in fact she agreed, she knew it would have been the best for both of us."

"You didn't leave her any choice, did you?"

"No, but she'll handle this, she'll move on."

"Why do you want her to move on? Don't you love her?"

If he hadn't loved her enough before, he would have fallen in love with her after what she'd done for him in the last few days. But he had to be the stronger one this time for both of them, he had to tell her what was the right thing to do. He knew she agreed for a reason, because she knew he had been right. The Diane Lockhart he'd known would have gone back to her firm already, she wouldn't have waited for him to wake up. He didn't mind the change, to see her weaker for a while, but it wasn't her. And even though he loved her more for appearing vulnerable in his eyes, he preferred her strong and invincible.

"I do. I was looking forward to meeting her in Memphis, I had hopes that we would have figured this out, but the accident changed everything."

"That's a lame excuse."

"You don't understand this. When I close my eyes all I see is that terrible moment, when I lost control over my car. I can't get it out of my head. It's starting to drive me crazy."

"You just need to rest, you'll get better soon."

"I should have died instead."

"Don't say that!"

"I can't help it, that's how I feel."

"You need to come home soon, the kids will surely cheer you up."

"I've lost her, Leny."

And not only he had lost her, it was his fault. It could have been so easy to let her stay longer, to let her visit, but he thought both would have been a sacrifice she shouldn't have made for him. Not while he was a patient, not while he depended on someone's help. He hated that he was tied to that bed. He'd wished to take her in his arms, while he had been unable to even lift his hand. He hated being so helpless.

"You haven't lost her. Why did you have to send her away?"

"I wanted to spare her, she shouldn't have seen me this way, shouldn't have felt obliged to take care of me. I'd only have been a burden for her."

"That's not true. And I'm sure she'll call, she won't turn away from you. Why did you tell her not to visit?"

"She has to forget me."

That was his plan. He gave her enough space and time, and the chance to forget about him. She said she'd wait for him, but he had no right to ask this from her. He would understand if she moved on, even if he didn't want her to. But he couldn't promise her anything, not in the state he was in.

"Why? Because you're sick? You'll recover."

"Maybe."

"Listen, I know I tried to talk you out of her before and it was wrong. I shouldn't have interfered at all, I'm sorry. I really don't want to make the same mistake again, but promise me you won't shut her out of your life completely."

"I can't promise anything, not now."

"Give it some time, you'll get better, and the visions of the accident will be gone soon."

"I hope so," he replied to make her feel better, but he didn't have hopes himself at that moment. He'd lost them all on that terrible day and all that remained was the need to survive. He needed to survive each day, until he would finally get his hopes back that would give a meaning to his life again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

She was surrounded by so many papers and books on her bed that it took her a while to find her phone. She thought it would be Will, since they have been staying in close contact even at home in the last days because of an important case. They usually called each other several times each night, but tonight there have been no calls from him yet. And it wasn't his name on the screen this time either, it was someone else's name, someone she hadn't heard from for a while.

She told him she'd wait for him, and she meant it, but it's been too long. She wasn't exactly waiting any more, that's why his call took her by surprise. She wanted to answer, but she had to take a deep breath before doing so, trying to prepare herself for what she was going to hear.

The last time they talked was several weeks ago, it was not long after she'd come to Chicago back from Orlando. She called him on that weekend, inquiring about his condition, he didn't say much. He was brief and polite, but nothing more. She was disappointed, but she didn't give up that easily. She called him some more times, but it didn't get better. And the last time they talked she made him promise he'd call her next time, to make it easier for him. But he never did, not until that evening.

She wanted to call him several times later, but she kind of got stubborn and didn't do it in the end. She started to hate how he wanted to shut her out of his life completely. The accident seemed to have changed him so much, and she didn't really like the new him. She tried to be understanding until a certain point, but after weeks of no calls from him she realized how one-sided this was, and she felt ashamed.

She'd gone as far as she'd ever gone for a man, and there was no other way than the way back to her old self. Of course it was painful, but there had never been anything she couldn't handle. She started to move on, burry herself into work, trying to forget him, and it worked. Until now.

"Yes?" she said looking at the clock on the wall. It was already 10 pm, she hadn't even realized it was that late.

"Hey, it's me," he replied and she heard the insecurity in his voice.

"Hey,…how are you?" she asked the only question that she could ask without any hesitation. She really wanted to know if he was all right, but it was also the safest way to start the conversation.

"I'm good, recovered, sort of."

"That's great," she said with clear happiness in her voice.

"It took a while and I drove Leny crazy almost each day," he added playfully.

"I can imagine that," she chuckled. "She must be waiting to get rid of you then."

"She was."

The fact that he was talking of everything in the past tense made her think that he wasn't under his sister's care anymore. But asking this didn't feel like the right thing to do. It could have suggested more interest than she intended to show. He simply didn't deserve better, not after what she'd been through because of him.

She couldn't think of anything else to say, so she kept silent.

"I'm not in Winter Park anymore. I've come back to Chicago. I've just arrived from the airport, the plane was delayed that's why I'm calling you so late."

That was too much information to handle at one time. She still remained silent, trying to process his words.

"I wanted to call you earlier, but after what happened the last time, I figured I shouldn't jinx it until I was actually able to meet you. I came with a taxi, I'm still unable to even think of driving a car again, but I'm here."

"Here? Where?"

"At your door."

This reply made her jump from her seat, this was more than unexpected. She went to look out the window to see him with her own eyes, and there he was, in front of her house. She didn't see much of him, because of the darkness outside, but her room was lit, he could have seen her in the window if he had looked up.

"Diane?"

"Yes?" she said after jumping a bit again hearing his voice through the line.

Now that he was in fact so close to her, she had no idea what to do, how to react.

"The taxi is still here. I can go away now if you want and come back some other time. I know it's late, and I might be the last person you want to see now. But I just couldn't wait to see you."

It was no use denying that his words started to melt her heart. He didn't sound the way he did the last times they talked. But it's been too long without any contact between them, and it was his fault. She was angry with him, and he knew that. And until he was only on the other end of the line it was easier to stay angry with him. She wasn't sure she would have kept this attitude if she let him in.

"I…I don't know."

"I understand, I do. I know that it's my fault, and that I can't play the sick-card all the time, but I have no other defense. I'm just asking for a chance to make it right. It doesn't have to be tonight."

Despite the dark she could see that he lifted his head, facing the direction of her window. It felt weird knowing that he was now looking at her, especially because she didn't see his face properly. She let the curtain fall again, trying to hide behind it, but didn't move from behind the window, so he still could see her silhouette.

"Should I go away? The decision is in your hands."


	19. Chapter 19

**Warning: This chapter has suggestive sexual content, therefore it's rated T**

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**Chapter Nineteen**

She was still hesitating. This late hour most certainly wasn't the best time to discuss anything between them. She should have sent him away and told him to come back some other time, or meet her somewhere the next day.

But she couldn't forget what happened the last time they made a deal like that. She didn't want to risk it either, even though it was unlikely that anything similar would happen again. But if that accident taught her one thing, it was that life was too short to let any chance pass her by like that. She wanted to finally see his face, to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him tight and never let go.

It felt as if she had been waking from a long coma. She'd tried not to waste any thoughts on him during the last weeks, because she hadn't wanted to hurt any more. But he was there, he wanted to make things right. He hadn't promised to come but she had promised to wait for him. And now that he was finally there, she couldn't possibly tell him to leave.

"Send the taxi away. I'll be down in a minute."

She put on her dressing gown and slippers and went downstairs. Before she got to the door, she glanced into the mirror. She didn't like what she saw. Without make up the lack of sleep showed under her eyes, but she decided not to care.

She opened the door and they were standing face to face, neither of them moved or said a single word. He looked healthy, although he seemed to have lost weight. But he looked as handsome as ever and she couldn't miss the sparkle in his eyes.

"May I come in?" he broke the silence and she moved aside, letting him step inside beside her then closed the door and turned in his direction.

"You can yell at me, throw things at my head, lecture me or whatever you feel like doing, but before you start it, let me do one thing first."

"What?" she asked, and automatically stepped back as he stepped closer to her without another word, but she bumped into the closed door, and before she could say anything his lips were on hers, and his arms around her.

There was no way to protest or to escape from his arms, not that she wanted to. She returned his kiss with the same passion, which only made him more eager. They kissed and held each other as if there was no tomorrow, and didn't feel like letting go. They both had been waiting for this for too long to let anything stand in their way.

Their hands soon lost control, they were all over each other. He gently took off her dressing-gown and let it fall on the ground, and admired her in the slim strapped silk red nightdress for a short moment before kissing her again and again and she had to lean against the door to find support. She felt the same desire as him, that had to be held back during the last weeks, and she was unable to fight it any more. But in one sane moment she realized that it shouldn't happen there.

"Not here," she whispered softly against his lips, and took one of his hands from around her.

He nodded, and took one step back, leaving her space. She passed by him, still holding his hand, and drew him with herself along the floor, up the stairs into the bedroom.

As she spotted her bed, that was still full of her working material, she stopped. She'd forgotten about them completely. It would have been easy to just throw them on the ground, but she would have regretted that later. She hated that her reasonable side was still present in such a moment, but she couldn't help it.

He seemed to have understood the reason of her hesitation, because he let her hand go, and went to the other side of the bed and lifted up the two corners of the bedspread. She smiled at him, then went to the opposite side trying to do the same, and they carefully balanced the batch of papers on the coverlet, until they safely reached the ground.

She smiled at him again and he sidestepped the papers to reach her. She knew that nothing could stop them now.

She was standing in front of him in her sleeveless knee-high dress, while he still had his jacket on. She helped him get rid of his jacket then started to unbutton his shirt, while he was kissing her neck, making it almost impossible for her to concentrate on the buttons. He had no bruises any more, but she recognized the scars on his body, and once she got rid of his shirt she started kissing them one by one. And when she was done he gave her the sweetest kiss in return.

She wanted to turn off the light, but he stopped her, taking both of her hands in his, lifting them up, then gently pulled up her dress, and took it off her. She was standing in front of him, in her underwear only, and he couldn't take his eyes off her for a while.

"You're beautiful," he said, then reached to turn off the light as she'd intended.

From that moment on they let their desires take over, making it a night to remember.

o-o-o-o-o

Later when she was lying in his arms, she was sure to have done the right thing by letting him in. This was bound to happen. They'd been away from each other for too long.

"I swear I only wanted to kiss you."

His statement made her chuckle.

"And I swear I didn't plan to kiss you back," she replied, still chuckling. "So now I could yell at you, throw things at your head and give you a lecture, or whatever I feel like, right?"

"Whatever you feel like," he repeated.

"I feel like doing this," she said and kissed him softly.

"So no yelling?" he replied with faked disappointment.

"I can do that tomorrow," she smiled, resting her head back on his chest.

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**Reviews are always welcomed. There's one more chapter left from the story, plus the epilogue. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

She was awakened by a loud voice. She couldn't make out the words, but they were coming from his mouth. She looked at him, calling his name, but he didn't answer. She waited for a minute, then closed her eyes, when a sudden scream made her heart skip a beat.

It looked like he was having a nightmare.

She called his name again a bit louder, but she didn't dare to touch him, wanted to avoid frightening him. She got no reply, but he didn't scream again, so she once again tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't.

After the next scream she turned on the lights, then got out of bed, walked to her bookshelf and started throwing her heaviest books on the ground, in the hope of waking him, and in fact she soon did.

"What are you doing?" he asked when he saw her and couldn't hide his chuckle.

"It's not funny. You frightened me," she said seriously, then got back to the bed beside him.

"What have I done?"

"I think you had a nightmare."

He wasn't chuckling any more. In fact he looked like a guilty child that was just caught doing something wrong.

"I'm sorry I frightened you," he said softly, pulling her closer to him.

"How long have you been having these dreams?"

"Ever since the accident, they won't go away, I can't get rid of them, it's frustrating."

"I'm so sorry," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

She saw that he was suffering, and she wanted to help. Finally she felt that he needed her. He might have felt recovered physically, but that was only one side to it. And she thought she could help him with the rest, they could get him through this together.

"I shouldn't have shut you out of my life for the last weeks, I'm sorry," he said kissing her forehead.

She tried to find the traces of anger, but they weren't there any more, she'd already forgiven him without noticing it. He came back, he wanted to be with her, he wanted to make things right and she wanted the same.

"That wasn't you, that was the sick man in you. I shouldn't have listened to him, I should have called again, I should have gone back to visit you, but I can be stubborn too, you know."

"We are a perfect match," he said smiling, then after a short pause he switched back to the previous serious tone, "I know it won't be this easy, we need to talk about a lot of things, but I want you to know that I'm here and I don't want to lose you again."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said lifting her head to look into his eyes.

"Then I'm not going anywhere either."

o-o-o-o

She was awakened by the ringing of her cell phone. She had no idea where she left it the last night, but it was most probably among the papers on the ground, because the sound came from there. She walked there and found the phone.

"Yes?" she answered without checking the name on the screen.

"Where are you?"

"What? What time is it?" she asked then her look shifted to the clock on the wall and she realized how late it was.

"9 am, we're supposed to be in court in an hour," she heard Will's angry voice.

"I'm still at home. I'll meet you there and if I'm late, you can start without me anyway."

"Fine, but hurry."

He hang up and Diane looked at the man in her bed, yawning.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Nah, it's ok. You have to go?"

"Yes, we're starting with a new case in court today, we've been working on it day and night in the last weeks."

"Then you go and get ready, and I'll quickly fix you some breakfast. You have to eat before you leave. I bet it will be a long day."

She went up to him and kissed him softly to show her gratitude for his caring words, then headed back to the papers on the ground, lifting them in order, and putting them back to her file case. She should have been in a hurry, but that morning was different than any other and she wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.

"Do you have plans for the day?" she asked casually.

"I need to get back to the farm. Haven't been there for so long. There must be plenty of things to do."

"Are you gonna manage without a car?"

"It won't be easy, it is quite far away from town."

"I can drive you there tonight. We could spend the weekend there. I can help with anything you need."

"Thank you."

She was glad he didn't protest, he accepted her help without hesitation. She felt that they were finally on the same page, wanted the same thing, and she couldn't have asked for more. Except one thing.

"When we're done with this case, I'd like to go somewhere with you," she said, clearly surprising him with her words.

"Where?"

"To Memphis," she smiled, "You owe me a weekend there cowboy."

"I don't think it's the best idea," he replied hesitating.

"I don't want the city to stay a constant reminder of that terrible day. I have a reason to hate that place as much as you do, maybe even more," she said with a sigh thinking back of the night she spent in the hotel, hating him for not showing up, then the call from his sister the next morning, "but we need to change that. We'll go to Memphis together, have a splendid time, and try to completely banish the memory of the accident from our minds. We need this to be able to move on."

"I'm not sure I deserve you," he said walking up to her.

"We both have made mistakes from the very beginning, but this tragedy kind of served as a wake-up call. We've been given another chance, and together we'll figure out how to make it work."

"You're right, we will," he said with a smile, putting her hands around her waist. "So Memphis, huh? What a woman like you plans to do in a city like that?"

"I don't know. I'll leave the planning to you."

"Sure, whatever you want."

He kissed her gently, then moved a little backwards, looking into her eyes.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."


	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"There must be more in Memphis than hotels, parks and restaurants, right?"

"I guess."

"Feeding me three times a day and letting me sleep in, we could have done this at home."

"We could have."

"But you seemed to make such a big deal out of it. I kind of expected more."

"The weekend is not over yet."

"Well technically the weekend is over tomorrow."

"This time tomorrow, you'll have your answer."

"So you're saving the best for last?"

"Sort of."

He really wanted this weekend to be perfect, so he carefully planned every detail. He made sure they stayed in a different hotel than the one he'd booked for them the last time. He made sure to choose her favorite kinds of restaurants to eat in. He made sure to let her sleep in the first morning, because he knew she hadn't slept much in the last few days.

He didn't care about the rest. He just wanted to be with her, walk with her hand in hand on the streets, something they normally could only do when they were on his farm, where nobody saw them. But they were strangers in this city, so she could easily let her guards down, and he loved seeing her that way among people. It made an interesting contrast to how she behaved when they were in Chicago.

And even though she teased him with her questions, he knew she enjoyed their stay there as much as he did, and she had no idea what would follow on the next day. There was a reason he chose that particular weekend for their visit, but he kept it from her, he wanted it to be a surprise.

He'd arrived back to Chicago six months ago, and they hadn't spent a single night apart ever since. There was no his or her place any more, both places were theirs, and as long as they were together it didn't matter where they were. Sleeping in her arms each night, his nightmares soon disappeared and he slowly ceased to be a survivor of a terrible accident, and started living a normal life again.

He bought a new car that he started driving with her in the passenger seat, patiently encouraging him to get rid of his fears, until he was finally able to drive alone. He went back to work, but only took cases in a distance, from where he could drive back to her each night.

They avoided all previous mistakes and learnt how to share things, to get to know each other as best as possible. They spent all their free time together, and they didn't need to label their relationship to know it was something that would last.

"I love you," he said the magical three words again, and she returned them.

They were able to talk naturally about their feelings, it didn't seem like a sign of weakness to them any more. They had learnt to count on each other, which was the hardest of all lessons. The mutual love and trust held them together, and they felt stronger than they had before, when they had been on their own.

They walked back to the hotel hand in hand and he made sure to tell her that it was one of the happiest days of his life.

o-o-o-o-o

His secret plan was naturally revealed at the airport the next day, when she realized they would be flying in an unexpected direction, to the south.

As they entered the garden of the familiar house, they were greeted by a bunch of kids lead by a boy, who immediately hugged Diane as he reached them, completely forgetting to greet his uncle. Kurt stroked his head smiling, said hello to his other nieces and nephews, hugging them one by one, then introduced Diane to those who haven't met her yet.

It didn't take long until the four adults appeared in the doorway too, welcoming the pair. Introductions were made again, and even though it was the first time Diane met Sarah and her husband Tom personally, they hadn't been complete strangers to each before either. Kurt made sure both sides learnt about the other.

Helen and Diane hadn't met since the day he sent her back to Chicago, and she thanked his sister again for taking care of him, and sending him back to her, earning an eye roll from him for the latter.

Of course Helen did more than just drive him to the airport that day, when he finally felt ready to go back to Diane, and he would never forget her support, but he had come to the same conclusion alone. With time he'd realized how much harder it was to fight against his sickness without her being there, but he took that as a punishment for having sent her away, and all that kept him alive was her promise that she'd wait for him. He started to hope that he would be able to go back to her before it had been too late and he needed to have this hope.

He didn't call her, because he never found the right words to say. He knew he had messed up, but he couldn't promise her anything, not until he was sure he would be able to keep those promises. And he resolved never to make the same mistakes again. Standing at her door, that night, was a new person, a better person than he'd been before the accident. And he showed that to her each day.

The family gathered around the table. It was their mother's birthday, and they celebrated it every year by getting together. Kurt thought this would be the perfect opportunity to bring Diane with him, to make her feel like a part of his family. And in her eyes he saw that she enjoyed every moment of it.

The kids soon started to fight about who should have sat next to her, but nobody really had a chance against Alan who never hid his feelings for her, ever since that first night at the same dinner table. He even went as far as asking his parents if he could stay with them in Chicago sometime during summer holiday, which took everyone by surprise. Nobody promised him anything, they only told him they would talk about it, but it made the kid happy, and all the other kids jealous, which got Kurt into a difficult situation. Finally they agreed that both families could visit them in the near future, and this solution satisfied everyone.

He and Diane spent the night in the same room she'd slept in when she'd stayed there for a few days, while he had been in the hospital. Diane had already told him about the nightmare she'd had there the first time, and he wasn't confident she would want to stay in that room at all, but she didn't mind.

And before they fell asleep she made sure to tell him that it was one of the happiest days of her life.

THE END

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Thank you all for reading and especially for those who took the time to comment!

If you want to read more stories from me on here, just let me know, because I have other fics ready to post.


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